Saturday, July 18, 2009

Who Invented The Thong?

Ever walk down the street and noticed a woman in front of you? Being a man the first place you will look is at her butt and of course you notice those familiar thong lines that ride over the hip and you go smile a little bit just imaging yourself on how good she look with nothing but that thong on.

If you are like me you will begin to wonder who in the hell invented the thong in the first place? First in my mind for a thong to be invented it had to be invented by a man and not a woman. So I began to surf the internet and have found a few things. It is known that the thong has been around since 1933 when nude dancers wore them during their shows and performances. The thong was so risque during those times that in NYC the Mayor at the time Fiorello LaGuardia made a law against them. Not much else is know about it until the sexy 70's

The thong was invented by a man a fashion designer by the name of Rudi Gernreich back in 1974in Brazil. It wasn't until 1977 when it hit the beaches of brazil and on the bronze bodies of Brazilian women everywhere. Here in the US they are called "Thongs" everywhere else they are called "Tangas" a good name because it rhymes with "Nalgas" Spanish for "Butt Cheeks" Many songs have been written about the thong or tangas. Here in the US women needed a reason to wear thongs for every day wear. What they noticed is when they wore slacks there was no panty lines. More the reason to wear thongs I'd say.

Unfortunately thongs are not meant for every woman to wear. Heavy women or women who are not blessed with a nice round butt cannot and shouldn't wear these. Its only fair because you wont catch my overweight butt wearing nothing but a Speedo looking like peter from family guy.

Anyway browsing through the net I have found what they call a Thong Etiquette please read below.


1. If you're wearing low rise jeans (which, by the way, should ALWAYS be worn with tops that cover/tuck into/meet the band. Even if you don't have that Mushroom Fat hanging over wear LOW RISE THONGS! Yes, they make these. Try Macy's or Kohls for a fast, easy and often cheap grab at them. There's been a new word invented for thongs peaking or escaping from the top of jeans: WHALE TAIL.(be careful if you Google it...for obvious reasons)

2. If you don't have BUNS of STEEL then you might want to think about wearing SEAMLESS PANTIES. Again try Macy's or Victoria's Secret. We do NOT want to draw attention to our rears via Panty Lines OR Jiggly Bums.

3. If you are wearing something in which the Cling : Thong Line Ratio is way out of wack and we now have Thong Lines (which will not only draw attention but the WRONG kind) then, and please read carefully, WEAR STOCKINGS. Stockings are equipped with a Cotton Crotch, which you may be interested in knowing there was a time when NO undergarments had Breathable Crotches and it was creating quite the atmosphere down there...Cotton Crotch makes Stockings the equivalent of Panties hence you DO NOT NEED TO WEAR PANTIES WITH STOCKINGS. But if you choose to you don't have to worry about JIGGLY BUM or THONG LINES! Brilliant!

Whether it's the Devils panties or earthly necessities I think it is needed. In a world with so many uptight people sometimes a little glance never hurts no one especially me!

Until next time!

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